'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

by Roast

Twas the night befor payday, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,

except for the fucking cat that
never sleeps at night.

Bastard.

The girlfriend and I were snuggled in bed,
while naked ladies danced in my head.

When out in the living room I heard such a clatter,
I figured I'd go out and make some cat splatter.

Then what on my couch a spectacle I did see,
It was all three girls from "Friends",

naked as can be.

They asked me to join their little game,
I said sure, you think I am insane?

I was soon naked and had a stiffy alright,
I was still tripping on the acid from last night.

I was drunk and stoned, not thinking to clearly.
I told Jennifer, Lisa, and Courtney shhhh.. don't want the
girlfriend to
hear me.

I was just about to climax, it was a real kick,
Then the cat got away from me and reached around and scratched
my dick!!

So I am here to say to all that can hear,
Don't ever mix cats, acid, pot, and beer!!!

 

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