SHIFTY ROAST ROAST'S SHORT STORY

ROAST TELLS A LITTLE STORY

Shifty: So, anyway, continue.

Roast: Where was I? Oh…

Shifty: You were pounding away at her…

Roast: Right. So anyway, I’m just pounding away at her, you know, doggie style.

Shifty: Yeah?

Roast: I’m riding that gal like a fucking cowboy you know? Just pounding it hard, slapping balls to asshole.

Shifty: Wait, “balls to asshole”? I thought you said you were fucking her doggie style.

Roast: What? Yeah, that’s what I said.

Shifty: But if it was doggie style, then your balls couldn’t have been slapping her asshole. It’s physically impossible. Unless, well you have got some misplaced balls…

Roast: Dude, it’s a fucking expression.

Shifty: Ok. I’m just saying that if you are going to tell a fucking story, get the sayings right.

Roast: Fine, fine. So, I’m pounding her, slapping balls to, um, thighs. Better?

Shifty: Much.

Roast: So anyway, I’m hitting this girl’s ass, like I fucking invented it.

Shifty: Hitting it? Like slapping it?

Roast: No. “Hitting it”. As in I was fucking her in the ass.

Shifty: Wait, wait, you were fucking her in the ass?

Roast: *sighs* Yes I was fucking her in the ass. What? You got a problem with it?

Shifty: Well no, I’m just saying, you were fucking her balls deep right?

Roast: Yeah, balls deep in her ass. So?

Shifty: So, am I to believe that you were just wailing away at this bitches ass? As if it wasn’t tight or anything?

Roast: What? Well, I guess. She really liked it.

Shifty: So, is this girl a huge fucking slut or what?

Roast: Dude, this is my girlfriend. Fucking A? What kind of question is that?

Shifty: No, it just that, well if you were pounding her ass like she loved it, like it didn’t hurt…..

Roast: What? That makes her a slut? Fuck you. She isn’t a slut.

Shifty: Well, either she’s a slut, which you say she isn’t. Or, you have a tremendously small penis.

Roast: I….what? Where does this shit come from? I’m telling you a story, and you can’t help yourself but to derail it.

Shifty: What I’m saying is, either she’s a slut, or your penis is so small you can wail away at her ass with no consequences. Because when I hit the back door, I have to be gentle or else I’ll hurt a girl.

Roast:….

Shifty: You get what I’m saying right?

Roast: Dude, just let me tell my story, ok?

Shifty: Ok man.

Roast: So, like I was saying, the other day I’m wailing away at this sluts ass…

Shifty: Yeah?