So,
I heard a new pick-up line yesterday. I'm in chatting with my
sons day care teacher, the one I am thinking about asking out,
and she says:
"Hey! I'm going skydiving later this summer, want to come with?"
My reply:
"Are you shitting me?"
This was right after she told me that my son had said a bad word
that afternoon. Hmmmmm, where do they learn these things?
So, I'm going to ask her if she was serious next time I see her,
and if she says yes, well then I better get her number so we can
discuss the details. I foresee it going like this:
(We
will call her Sphynx)
Roast: So, you serious about sky diving?
Sphynx: Yeah, do you want to go?
Roast: Yeah, I'm thinking that would be really fun. How about I get
your number, and we discuss the details.
Sphynx: Great! Here I already wrote it down for you.
(Hands me a pair of thong panties)
Roast: Cool. Wait; is this a 9, or a 4? I can't tell with it right
on the seam like that.
Sphynx: It's a 4.
Roast: (hands panties back) Tell you what, just tell me what it is,
I'll save it in my new phone.
Sphynx: ..............ok...............You are not very good at
taking hints, are you?
Roast: What? Sorry, I was looking at my phone. It's shiny.
Sphynx: (rattles off number, hands panties back to me) Tell you
what. You keep these, and use them to fantasize sexually about me.
Then, after I come to your house after our 2nd, or 3rd date and have
sexual intercourse with you, I'll have some extra panties if I need
them. Clear enough?
Roast: Oh look! I can download ring tones!!!
Damn
I'm smooth!!! Actually this happened last summer, and we had
quite a nice little romance. Of course I'm a dumbass, so I
eventually lost her. But, she will always have a place in my
heart with the most creative first date ever.
