Ok, mother fuckers. Yeah, so it’s fucking valentines day. Yeah.
Well, I’m drunk. Here’s a little secret about ShiftyRoast.com that
you may not have caught on to yet, I, Roast, do all the fucking
updating, as drunk as possible. If you have noticed this, well
here’s a fucking cookie. See, I spend fucking 8-14 hours per day in
front of the castrating glare of a computer screen all fucking day.
The last thing I want to do is come home and try to make this thing
or that thing look just right on the internet before I have 3 beers
for dinner, and then a couple of glasses of fine Chivas Scotch. So,
FUCK YOU all you fucking people with the fucking girlfriends and
boyfriends and what not. You stupid fucks don’t know what is coming.
I’ve been married, and if you can’t already tell, this is my first
Valentines Day after the end of said marriage, so I fucking know how
it all fucking works. You people don’t know the freedom that comes
with being single on Valentine’s day. And those of you that are
single, stop being such whimpering pussies about it. Get the fuck
over it, you are better off anyway. Fucking Valentine’s day is a
fucking incarnation of the card companies and gift/stuffed animal
companies to make something out of nothing and profit from a dead
time between Christmas and Easter. Fucking
great, two more religious Holidays crammed down our throat. Please
sir, May I Have Another? Any way, I do Roast’s Rant last, to make
sure the alcohol has taken full effect, and there you go. Me, drunk.
Not shit-faced though. It would take more than I’ve got in the house
to make me shit-faced…
