Ode to the Commode

by Roast

As I sit here on the crapper,
just taking my sweet time.
I must sit and contemplate,
another little rhyme.

So I'll write some prose,
about my average day.
And then you will sit and wonder,
how I earn my pay.

I start it out a 6:45,
with the denver post online.
I generally have the sports page finished,
by 7:49.

Then coffee calls my name,
an addiction it would seem.
I'll take mine with three sugars,
and a generous scoop of cream.

By 8:00 I'm deep in work,
knowing all the while.
I already earned 25 dollars,
and never cracked a file.

So now by 8:30,
a leak is what I take.
It's just the start of the cycle,
two trips an hour I will make.

And then mid morning, the big reward,
I go sit on the john.
It's a private bathroom break,
that is about 10 minutes long.

Then I'm back, hard at work,
Oh, wait is that an e-mail?
So what's an honest joe to do?
his friends he can not fail.

So I try to keep in touch,
with you and a couple more.
All the while I listen hard for
the office door.

When I hear it I make a switch,
to be caught would not be too good.
So I have a file open,
So the boss won’t find out I’m a hood.

He comes in, and checks my work,
and grades my progress so far.
He nods his head and pats my back,
and tells me how good I are. (heh heh)

So, by the end of my day,
I've gone to the bathroom fifteen times.
I've ate some lunch, talked to the wife,
and written some little rhymes.

All the while the boss sits by,
and gives me a big hand.
He says my performance is really good,
and my work ethic is grand.

So now to steal a word from Scooby-Doo,
all I can say is Zowie!
Mabey I'll introduce him to another believer,
Who’s name is Coach Howie.

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