Look at my scrotal sack
If it weren’t mine it would make me laugh
How did my thighs get so red
Why aren’t my pubes where they had been
I remember that I threw up
I think my friends thought they would clean me up
I never knew my scrotum looked like that
The whole package seems a little flat
I told them all it wasn’t cool
They just laughed about my new pube do’
Took a gamble when they rolled the dice
I hope they all catch my crotch lice
I wonder if it’s unsafe
To coat your penis in latex paint
Off to the shower with some turpentine
I’m quitting drinking for the final time
Oh my nuts
Oh God I
Chorus:
Every memory’s a shot of Jose Cuervo
I was content just to pass out on my bedroom floor
Why’d they do it, Why’d they do it
Oh my, Oh my nuts
(Repeat chorus)
I wish last night wasn’t so vague
Guess I’ll watch the video I’m sure they made
I’m sure now it’s all over town
This kind of stuff is tough to live down
At least I know something they don’t know
I saved the pubes scattered on the floor
Tomorrow they’ll find out how it feels
To have my pubes spicing up their meal
I guess I could be pissed
But the irony I have not missed
Last week when Brian drank too much
I helped staple his balls to his butt
Oh my penis
Oh God I
(Chorus, twice)
Balls are shaved
Penis painted
Can’t remember
Can’t erase it
Still somehow
I can’t believe it
Scrotum itches
It’s hard to clean it
If I wouldn’t have drank last night
I know my scrotum would have been all right
(Chorus, twice)
Look at my scrotal sack
If it wasn’t mine it would make me laugh
If it wasn’t mine it would make me
