January's always bitter,
but Lord this one beats all.
The strip clubs closin' down now,
no tits to see at all.
I been all night strokin' pecker,
he's all chapped and swollen now.
Then I spent the mornin' thinkin',
'bout the loss of porn in this town.
Charley Barton has a crisis,
he stopped today to have a cry.
Seems the town's all out of KY,
and his wife's pussy's just to dry.
She told him he should lick it,
but her smell no douche will drown.
And we spent a long time thinkin',
'bout the loss of porn in this town.
Lord please shine a light of hope,
on those of us with dirty minds.
Why can't we pay someone
for a blow?
She's a dirty slut,
but tonight she's mine.
I don't mean to be complainin' Lord,
but the pleasures you provide are few.
And I know You've got Your reasons,
for making my life as shitty as You do.
But tonight somewhere in Denver,
there's a crotch with no pole to slide down.
And I'm sitting here drunk just thinking,
what the fuck will I do now?
Oh Lord without porn I'm sinking.
What the fuck should I do now?
